Losing Grip

It has been an eventful month for me. I spent the last couple of weeks mostly outside of the school  premises where I had to accomplish the what we, teachers, call “other related works”. It was physically and mentally tiring, but it was fun, I must say.

Just yesterday, I got a chance to celebrate life once again with a set of awesome professionals at least for a few hours singing at a KTV room inside a hotel. We ate a lot, laugh a lot. I was happy. I smiled a little more than I used to.

As we packed up, I randomly took a shot at the TV screen and decided to write about whatever song title appears in it. Heck, I could even write about Regine Velasquez’s move to Kapamilya network, or the seemingly unending inflation rate. Yes, I’m random like that.

The last on the list was a song entitled “Losing Grip” by Avril Lavigne. I chose it but I don’t know the song, though.

And that is where the title of this blog post was from, a celebration of life. Because for these past few weeks, I almost forgot how it feels to be alive. I felt that I was losing grip.

When things start to appear like an endless routine, people get tired and boredom kicks in. Exhaustion takes a toll on your mind and body. It’s when we feel like we’re doing the same thing over and over again but progress is nowhere to be found. It’s when we feel we’ve walked a thousand miles and yet, our destination still lies beyond our own horizon.

Photo by Arif Riyanto on Unsplash

There’s a point in our lives when we get stuck with this agony, especially for us who are currently engaged in the teaching profession. The feeling of getting up five in the morning. Going to school before the clock hits eight. Spending the rest of the day with a bunch of kids bundled with stress and workload. And then, with a tired body and an exhausted mind, you slowly watch the clock as it ticks to five in the afternoon. Repeat. Five days a week. Ten months a year.

Everyday, you’ll come home thinking of the paper works that you still need to accomplish only to see your tired body lying on the bed, with teary eyes staring at the ceiling. And with a moment of sorrowful silence, you say to yourself, “Ayaw ko nang magturo”.

It reaches to a point when you can’t hold on anymore to your sworn obligations. From here, you’ll look for alternative opportunities around you. Maybe a career shift or love life, you name it.

You’ll also find yourself going to work dragging your feet as if you’re being forced to do the tasks you’re supposed to do since day one. And the only motivation which propels you to continue working, is the monetary compensation. Repeat. Five days a week. Ten months a year.

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

It seems hopeless, really. But when you feel that everything’s going south, when you’re starting to give up, rethink of your life and reflect on your real purpose.

Focus on the real reason why you still keep on holding on and you should know that it’s not the salary or job security alone.

Remember the children who depend on you. Think how can you help them become the best version of themselves. Your influence to them really matters.

Realize your self-growth. If you feel that you’re stuck in a void of uncertainty, go on an extra mile, push yourself into your limits. There, you’ll see personal and professional growth within yourself.

And most importantly, do what you love and love what you’re doing. If you feel that you’re just working for the money, then maybe you can consider finding what you truly love. Maybe a career shift or love life, you name it.

But if teaching is what you love, you should not have a problem. Yes, you’ll get tired, you’ll get hurt, but in the end you’ll cope up. Because you know that behind every exhausting day is a brighter tomorrow for the children you teach. Behind every empty wallet lies a bountiful of knowledge and wisdom you were able to impose to your students. And behind every teacher who’s on the edge of quitting, are children who keep on believing.

I was about to lose grip until life made me realized the reasons why I should keep holding on. I finally know how it feels to be alive.

1 Comment

  1. Omaru

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